What I'm Learning About Generosity
Written February 2024
One of the things I have loved most about South Asian culture is the generosity and thoughtfulness that is foundational to how they live and love each other. No matter if you’re family, a friend, or a stranger, you are considered.
This morning, I woke up to a full plate of delicious Sri Lankan food brought to me by the housekeepers at my Airbnb (the sweetest older couple). While in India, I was constantly amazed at the persistent generosity that flooded the interactions with each and every person I met. Each and every time the small group I was with bought a snack, the first thing they ensured was that everyone else in the group got to try it first. Each and every meal, I was asked again and again whether I’d like to try their plates, and assured that they will make certain I love whatever it is I’m eating - if not, they would work tirelessly to find me something I clearly loved.
In the U.S., we often grow up to value strong individualism - “How can I be different and special from the rest?”
And while I love our creative freedom and ability to truly develop a sense of self, I am learning a lot about what it looks like to value the community well-being as integral to my own. There is something profoundly impactful in not only the lives of those around us, but in our own hearts, when we make thoughtfulness of others and generosity central to how we live our lives.
Here, I have been generously offered more than many can even afford to give - and yet, there has been no expectation of anything in return nor resentment that I “took” from them. I have witnessed generosity and kindness in their purest forms.
So often I find that my desire to self actualize and constant cultural pressure to “be the best I can be” can sometimes distract me from being the kind of person I want to be. I believe these two can coexist; the desire to be our best self and our best for others. But if ever I lose sight of the real purpose of my life, which I believe is to love and let be loved, I hope to come back to the principles of what I believe love looks like, as demonstrated so beautifully to me here in India and Sri Lanka over the past few weeks.
I want to share my snacks without resentment that someone else ate from mine - both literally and figuratively, in all the ways, shapes, and forms generosity can take.
Because sharing, being generous, noticing others and caring deeply for them… this is the path to a deeply fulfilled life.
Always,
Elle
