The Here & Now

Written in February 2024 from a tiny little cafe in Singapore.

---

So often I find myself contemplating the past or predicting the future while the most beautiful present surrounds me. My mind is captivated by the idea of what could’ve been or what will be while the joy of the present passes me, the sounds and images and smells and touches of the present fleeting from my conscious mind. 

Right now I am living out one of my dreams. I’m traveling the world, meeting people from every nook and cranny of our planet, surrounded by beautiful cultures and food and language. This is what I’ve dreamed of for so, so long.

And yet, I find myself having moments of doubt. Should I be here? Should I just go back to my corporate job? Should I have stayed and tried to save more money before leaving? Is this all silly? What if I miss out? How am I going to figure out what to do next? Am I going to be behind?

I will never be able to change the past, and I certainly won’t be able to predict all of the future. All I have is right now; the smells of my freshly baked almond croissant and steaming English breakfast tea and vibrant mix of internationals surrounding me as I type away on my big ole’ laptop, propped high on a teeny tiny little wooden table in a cafe in Singapore.

While my brain tries to divert to any distraction from what is, I am choosing to stay locked into this exact moment, right now. I am choosing to feel what is true; the gratitude for my beautiful life overwhelming every ounce of my being. 

I am choosing to not allow the sadness I felt yesterday when I was scared about what the heck I was going to do with my whole entire life to take away from right now. Neither am I trying to distract myself into a state of overwhelming, euphoric joy by imagining what could be.

I am simply letting myself be here, feeling the now - no phone or distractions or daydreaming for the time being.

I notice my body taking a deep breath. I notice my heart rate is lower. I notice a serenity in the air and a gentle hug over my mind. 

I am here. Fully, wholeheartedly present in the beauty that is this moment. What a gift it is to be alive - right here, right now. 

Always,

Elle